Is it a communication problem or something else?
People have been coming to me with relationship issues where the communication has broken down and to be quite honest they are simply abusing each other.
9 times out of 10 one or both parties are stuck on something that has happened weeks, months or even years ago and they can’t or (won’t let it go.)
They feel as if they have been wronged and at every disagreement, it gets bought up and rehashed…
This kind of behaviour gets tiring real fast and builds resentment between people.
Communication is such a key in all relationships be it with your partner, your kids, your staff, your customers or your students.
Everyone wants to feel listened to and heard.
Something that we must be aware of is that people treat us how we treat ourselves.
So if you don’t listen to the voice within you may find your outside reality reflects that back to you where it appears people don’t listen to you.
A question that we sometimes ask people who are quick with a reply is, are you listening to hear, or listening reply?
Nothing is every personal, remember you are always loved it is just a behaviour that is causing conflict.
Everyone is always just being themselves seeing the world through their filters not right or wrong just their filters.
When someone is hitting out with their communication it just shows they are in pain and don’t feel heard.
We’ve all seen or done the pattern when you are trying to get a point across and they are not getting it so you just say the same thing louder and louder…
It’s quite comical to watch when you see it happening.
The other common pattern is to start blaming or verbally attacking someone if they disagree or don’t understand you.
It is like a vail comes down over you and you get caught in a cycle.
When you stop and look at it, it is only because you feel frustrated that they are not hearing you.
From an energetic point of view:
When this happens and you don’t get closure or find peace in the communication, you will push those emotions and energy down suppressing them.
When you do this enough it builds up pressure and you will find that you become more sensitive than you would normally be.
You see this when stress comes on people they get short tempered.
Then when a disagreement happens you find yourself blowing up.
It releases the energy but if the core emotion underneath hasn’t been addressed you will find the cycle starts all over again.
Often the core underlying seed is very small, yet with years of emotion layered on top, it feels too much to deal with.
If you find your communication is not working then ask yourself these questions.
What is the basic emotion I’ve been ignoring for this to be happening?
(it will be a positive emotion or phrase)
Once you have it then ask yourself what actions or behaviours would I be doing if I was being in alignment with that emotion.
Then just start doing them.
People respond to your behaviours and actions
If you would like some help with this I’d love to hear from you
Enjoy and I look forward to talking to you next time.
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Until next time Take Care Douglas Peacock